Monday, February 2, 2009

Where we stand with my daddy...


I missed my first flight into North Carolina yesterday, due to a combination of exhaustion and a miscalculation in the amount of time it takes to get to the Denver airport. I was put on standby and made the flight from Denver to Dallas Ft. Worth. I waited for about 2 hours and then was able to make the flight from Dallas Ft. Worth to RDU in Raleigh/Durham. I arrived at the hospital to see my dad around 6:30 PM EST.

I had somewhat tried to prepare myself for the way my dad was going to look hooked up to life support and with all the swelling from his kidneys and liver not working, but there is no way that I could have been completely prepared for that. I cried so hard that I was shaking!

Where we stand right now...My daddy is completed sedated. They do not know whether or not he has any kind of brain function, and are not going to take him off of the medication to find out. They feel that it would be too painful for him and just not right. He was talking up until Saturday and showing signs of at least somewhat understanding what was going on around him. He has no kidney or liver function at all. The fluid in his body is coming out of any pore in his body that it can come out of because it has no where to go. His fingers and toes are beginning to turn black from lack of oxygen. The doctor called my sisters into the conference room in the back at around 1:20 PM. He informed us that we needed to make a decision as far as whether or not to rescusitate my daddy. We chose not to, because we just don't feel that he would want that. He says that there is no sign of heart disease and that at this point, he doesn't think his heart is going to stop, but that with his other organs not working, eventually his body is going to say enough is enough and his heart is going to stop.

In another day or two, the doctor will know which way this thing is going to go. He told us that eventually we may have to decide whether or not to take him off of life support. I am still trying to have hope, but the doctor said that even if he were to make a full recovery, which at this point, is highly unlikely, he would lose a couple of fingers and toes AT THE VERY LEAST!

I know that God is watching over him and that while we may not understand why this is happening, there is a purpose for it. I may never know what that purpose is. Seeing my daddy like this is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. He just doesn't look like my daddy! Every time I go back to see him, it is harder than the last time. He is much more swollen and they cannot do much about it because he is still on blood pressure medicine, which is adding to the swelling that is also coming from his liver and kidneys not working. Again, I appreciate all of the prayers, and my cell phone is not working in the CCU waiting room. So, if you are trying to get hold of me and you can't, this is why!
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